a BUMP in the road along our amazing journey

I have not updated this in a while. Atleast it seems as it has been forever due to all the chaos that has taken place since the last post.

Tuesday was the beginning of a great morning. Annie got a package from home. We got some good Starbucks coffee, incredibly exciting! Then afterwords we decided to go to a local Irish Pub to watch the last Bafana Bafana game on television. It was so much fun sitting outside with friends and one of their friends. It is beginning to feel like home even more. Next door to us was a KFC (yes, in South Africa). All of the workers from the KFC kept coming outside to cheer on the soccer team and blow their vuvuzelas (horns). It was so much fun :)

Before all of this is where the bump in the road begins. Getting a call from our director, she asked if we were willing to work night shift at the Johannesburg Hospital for the next three nights from 6 pm- 7 am. 13 hours in a hospital in a very dangerous area was a bit overwhelming at first. However, we realized this is exactly what we had been praying for as well. We were praying that we wanted to be used in a way that they most needed as well as something to mix up the routine a bit. We did not just want to go through the motions for the rest of the summer; we felt this would happen if we were continually working the same shift at Door of Hope. Also, we have been desiring for a community as well as a way to build relationships with people outside of the Door of Hope.

Working in the hospital has been an incredible blessing as well as tremendously tough and emotionally exhausting. Two of the babies from the Door of Hope are sick on the same floor in different rooms. Me and Annie have been separated for the first time. The first day was frustrating as we have already heard horrible stories of the nurses who work in this hospital. One of the girls from Door of Hope was serving in he hospital; one of the nurses told her that she did not care what happened to these babies. She was solely there for the money. On our first night shift I got laughed at a number of times as I did not know what I was supposed to do. These nurses do not feed the babies or change their diapers or clean up anything. It was extremely frustrating. The first night was emotionally draining. My baby cried for about thirteen hours straight.

Watching my baby struggle for life taught me a lot of things. We have been watching Loui Giglio as I wrote in the last post. He has been talking about being fearfully and wonderfully made. Being alive is such an amazing thing if you stop and think about it. Why are we here? How did we get here- really and truly? How is everything so uniquely and creatively and perfectly made? God does not want to see us struggle. From the perspective of me and the baby- it hurt so much to see this little premature baby crying out in pain struggling for life. He wants us to have a life of peace and love in Him and Him alone.

A lot of these babies were supposed to have been aborted by their parents. They have been taken to witch doctors (they are heavily present around this area) and were supposed to have been given spells to have an abortion. Needless to say these have not worked, and the babies have been born with many issues. All of these babies have been born for a reason. They have been fearfully and wonderfully made. One of the leaders at Door of Hope was saying that she was going to continually fight for each and every babies life until the last moment; we are not to give up and should continually rely on God and his miraculous hands. I completely agree with this.

Night two at the hospital was a lot better. From a different perspective we were considering all that these nurses go through day in and day out. Johannesburg is one of the most dangerous cities in the world for both murderer and rape. I can not imagine working at a hospital where so much crime and struggle exists. It must be hard to get emotionally connected with anyone.

The second night I was able to talk to the nurses. They all asked questions as to why I was there. It was neat hearing them ask questions and being able to explain what I was doing there. One of the nurses, "Eggie" then began to proclaim I love Susie and I am going to take care of you. She had so much joy in her heart. Also, I found out that she has been working there for about thirty years. She just said that you need to laugh and talk to people; the parents are already emotionally drained. Eggie had an amazing impact on me.

Another bump in the road occured. We got asked if we wanted to work at the Berea baby house or night shift at the one we have been working at. The Berea house is much further away, and it is in a less safe area. Also, we have loved these babies so much at our baby house. Starting Thursday we will be serving night shift at the Door of Hope. We are truly excited about it. We have more one on one time with the babies. Also, we will be able to prepare breakfast items or words of encouragement for the aunties who come in later :)

Then Wednesday morning we found out we had the opportunity to meet Reggie Bush in South Africa. How bizarre is that? And we were on our way after two hours of sleep. Our car broke down. So now we have a new car as well. The old car was named Hootie. Now our new car is Boo Bell. Do not ask questions! We were worried as how we would get to the hospital. However, they got us a new car right away. It is amazing that our car did not break down in the middle of Johannesburg; God is good.

This whole experience has truly been a learning experience over anything; I am so blessed to be here. We are going to Cape Town in 2 weeks :) I just booked the flights, the hostile, and the car rental. We will be staying in a hostile which is so exciting, and it is looking over Table Top Mountain. It will be a great time of relaxation in between everything. It has already been 6 weeks! Time has flown by; We only have 5 weeks left.

you are fearfully and wonderfully made..

We have been watching sermons preached by a pastor from Atlanta named Loui Giglio. Me and Annie have both fallen in love with his sermons; he is so genuine and down-to-earth.

Yesterday I had a lot going through my mind- which is easy to have considering everything still being so new as well as so much down time. I have learned to appreciate quiet time as well as rest. For many of you who know me this is a tremendous change as I have always needed something to do- even when I was little- it was what game can we play next.

Writing in my journal, we have been learning a lot about being fearfully and wonderfully made as I have written in my last post. I have been thinking a lot about how God, the creator of everything in this universe, has created us all uniquely for a specific purpose. So many times in life I have tried comparing myself to others or tried to become someone who I am not. I feel as though this is a struggle for many people. Even though I sometimes wish I would look a little different or have a better personality, I am coming to realize that God created me with all of my flaws, quirks, physical traits, passions, and interests for a reason. I was thinking about how this summer I want to learn more about why God made me the way I am as well as how He could best use me.

Not only has he knitted me in the womb, He has knitted all of us. Life is amazing when you really stop and think about it. Every second of life is due to grace as well as a miracle. When you think about how he has created everyone it is truly humbling; when someone is bothering you to the point of screaming or a little baby is crying for what seems to be no reason at all- you stop and think God created them as well.

Yesterday after thinking about all of this, the sermon was on You and who God created you to be. Of course it was! Also, he already knows what will happen in our lives as well as what he is going to do with us. One of my favorite parts of this amazing sermon called Unthinkable was when he was talking about how God knows everything already and the pastor said maybe I should just step back and try to learn from the genius of creation. So many times I do not listen or try to comprehend why I am going through a situation or what I can learn about it.

Door of Hope is amazing. Today we learned of another little girls story. The doctors said that she would not live past the age of one. At seven months old she still only weighed five pounds. However, she just turned two years old and is walking and beautiful! There are so many stories like that here. Each one of these children are fearfully and wonderfully made; they all have a purpose. I am truly blessed to be able to be a small part of their journey.

I have learned to love things changing and not going through the motions. I am glad God has slowly taught me this throughout the years. Today we received a phone call asking if we were able to work in the Johannesburg hospital for night shift the next four nights. We are truly excited to be able to serve there where it is desperately needed.

The nurses are supposedly not the best; they do not take great care of their patients. We will be feeding the babies as well as changing their nappies (diapers) throughout the next four nights from 6 pm- 7 am. We will be serving in separate rooms on the same floor- loving two different babies. It will be a humbling experience as supposedly the nurses are very harsh and we will have to submit to all of their requests.

Timing has worked out perfectly as well. We were out of groceries the other day; yesterday we filled our cabinets with food. We will have plenty of food to bring along with us for the night shifts. We would have not felt like doing it during the day. Also, we will be able to see the United States play in the World Cup tomorrow at four as we are not working during the day :)


Please pray that we can keep up our energy, get some rest during the day, and the babies remain in a stable condition.

13:13

We worked our first three days in a row this week. Every day is so long but so rewarding as well. It was our first week without the aunties from Canada as well as one our age from England. However, the United States is filling up the Door of Hope as a girl from Iowa came by all herself! It amazes me how she looked up this place on the Internet and flew here by herself; that is amazing faith.

I have fallen more in love with the babies every day. Three children got adopted this week!!! It is bittersweet; We miss seeing them. However, we also know they have a family forever now that will hopefully be loving them so so much. Two new children were brought up from the infant room. They are two and three months old and so tiny. So may premie babies are trickling in. Supposedly a lot of the times these babies were meant to be aborted. A lot of people resort to the "witch doctors" all around. The abortions went wrong and they ended up at the Door of Hope. Yesterday I got pretty emotional changing one of the new little babies. I was scared to change her because of how small she is. I then started thinking about how thankfully she was brought from the hospital. I can not imagine someone that tiny, or anyone at all, being abandoned on the street. It gives me more of an appreciation for the Door of Hope. God has amazing things in store for these children; I know it.

Yesterday we were able to see the first Baby house built where the latch is; people can place their babies through this latch to give them to the door of hope. There is an alarm sensor in there. The area around this baby house is a lot more rough. We saw one building which was meant to be a rich/fancy place for people to stay. It ended up turning into pretty much a shanty town. It is a huge building. Supposedly a lot of babies are thrown outside of those windows often. It is so hard tohear that.

On a happier note we have been here three weeks. After four weeks we can take the babies on day trips. We are thinking about taking three of the older boys to the Lion Park! I am so excited to do that. Technically these boys would be in the toddler house; however, there is no space right now. They will probably leave us very soon which will be a sad day. However, it will be neat to take them to the Lion Park!

We may go to Swaziland next weekend to work with a ministry one of the girls has worked with! I am so so excited. It is more relational based ministry. I truly can not wait to form connections with people. This has been on both mine as well as Annie's heart. It will be tough as it has one of the highest percentages of HIV/AIDS in the world. However, I am truly excited to experience part of the "real" African culture. We will be sleeping in a tent as well.

Off to enjoy the rest of the day with friends :)

Bafana, Bafana!

The United States is playing tonight at the World Cup verse England! The girl we have been serving with the past two weeks is from England. It will be so much fun to watch the game together as well as one of the missionaries from New Jersey, currently living in South Africa with her wonderful South African husband!

Even though we cannot make it to a game, it is amazing to experience the World Cup in South Africa. You can hear vuvuzelas everywhere- which are the horns. Needless to say the children do not like the sound of them; however, it never ceases to amuse the aunties to play them at the Door of Hope. The other day we heard so much chaos going on at the local mall. We decided to be adventurous and get out of the car to see what was going on. There were literally hundreds of people rounded up solely to blare their horns in support of the South African team. It was so neat. Everyone has so much joy and support for this team, even though they are ranked 83rd in the country. From a country with so much tension between all the different colors of people to this amazing support for their soccer team, it is a miracle that the World Cup is taking place in South Africa. The world cup is bringing the nation together; it is only soccer- but it doesn't matter because they are all still unifying in some way.

We watched the opening ceremony at the Door of Hope with all of the Aunties and the babies- never watched a competitive game with twelve babies! We laughed about our company. The day was so much fun. We all wore South African colors, and when they scored everyone went nuts at the Door of Hope! Also, it was two of the boys birthday celebration. It was an exciting day at the DOH.

I saw one of the children walk for the first time. It was so exciting! I have never experienced that before. It made my day. For some reason I felt as though he was going to walk that day and he did!

Today me and Annie watched a sermon by Loui Giglio about how we are fearfully and wonderfully made. It went into all of these details regarding both how big the universe is as well as how intricate God has designed our bodies- even to the cells. Sometimes I doubt my abilities- correction- I often doubt myself. However, I realize this is almost a slap in God's face. He has fearfully and wonderfully made all of us for a purpose. He has intricately created us from the beginning of time; doubting what we are called to do is selfish. It is almost like taking an extremely long time carefully planning the perfect gift for a certain person. After taking time planning every single detail, the person is unable to graciously accept the gift.

We are all created for a reason and a purpose. It is amazing just being able to walk around, see, smell, touch, taste, and hear. It is amazing to have life. We should wake up every day and embrace what we are given; it is all a gift. By no means am I saying I am perfect; I sadly forget this too easily.

I do miss home a lot randomly. I miss Caswell and seeing the beauty all around me, the amazing people, the kids, etc. I miss home a lot and all of my family and friends. I miss the summer. I miss good coffee. I miss being able to walk around freely after 6 pm. However, I love these babies and know I am here for a purpose. Thank you all for your support and prayers.

Well, me and Annie are off to our United States verse England world cup party!
Love you all

better than an hallelujah....

Standing outside of the Door of Hope tonight, the stars were shining above us and the elevated city lights surrounded us in front. I realized this place is amazing and I have been granted my hearts desire. Even though their is so much brokenness all around us- this place has a beauty on its own- one that I am not used to- the city.

The World Cup is really going to be huge for this place. It will be two worlds colliding into one :) It is a miracle hopefully binding South Africa in their pride for the World Cup.

Today was so much fun and very refreshing. This place is starting to feel more comfortable and more at home. The States will seem like paradise when we return. Today we went to an African Market about 30 minutes away in Johannesburg with two of the aunties- Lou and Dale.

I never have experienced a market before- let alone one where the prices are all in Rand. It was so crazy. If you do not know how to say the word "no" you will be sure to quickly learn at these markets! Also, I felt rude not listening to all of the people wanting to make me buy things- slowly I got better at walking away from them all. It is very hard and they all make you feel so guilty. I need to work on this! Some people were so so pushy; however, there was one strip of stores with people who were very nice as well. It was bizarre what a difference you could find in prices from one side of the market to the other.

Most of these people receive their only incomes from this market and come there every day. Even though it was somewhat stressful, it was also a lot of fun. We went with two older missionaries with us from Canada who are so nice and neat. They have taught me that no matter what age you are to embrace your personality. They wore purple wigs in the Door of Hope pretending they were not doing anything funny- it was hilarious to hear the story! It is so neat how God brought two Americans and two Canadians to serve at the Door of Hope.

I did manage to get a lot of neat gifts for people. Also, I got a braclet for an amazing deal- which I was so excited about until dinner- it was 20 Rand instead of 50 Rand because I had no more money- at dinner of course I realized that they spelled Africa "Afirca" on the wrist band- haha. I thought I got a deal- oh well maybe I can pretend they spell it that way in Afrikaans??

South Africa is beginning to feel more like home everyday as we get adjusted to it. The people surrounding us are so neat and so passionate about their faith and God. One lady we met today at the market was amazing. You could just tell how much joy she had from the moment you saw her face. It was astounding! It turned out that Dale knew her from the last time she had visited. They have been e-mailing one another. This lady gave Dale a beautiful painting, a jeweled elephant figurine, and a keychain for free. She was just so excited to see Dale again. She also gave us a hug right away and told us how she would be praying for us and that we would never be alone. She has such a passion for the God she loves. It was refreshing to see. She also gave us her phone number to call her if we ever need someone to talk to. Hopefully we will be able to return and just talk to her. She seems amazing.

I am so excited to be able to serve here with all of these amazing individuals and experience so much love. It is neat to be able to get away and see things from a different perspective of things going on at home as well. There are so many amazing things I see and hear happening from different friends at home. I love hearing updates :)

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah......

feesh and chips

South Africa finally feels more comfortable and like home :)

Tonight was so much fun. We went out to eat and got fish and chips again with three of the aunties who work with us from Door of Hope. It is so bizarre that two Americans, two Canadians, and a girl from England all sat down together to eat at a restaurant in South Africa and it felt like a home away from home!

We work tomorrow. Next week we will be going to a local African market with the same group as tonight. Wednesday we will be going to the 'cinema' and seeing a movie for less than $3- how bizarre!

Besides all of this fun stuff it is amazing to hear about everything going on at home and in the lives of the people I love. God truly works miracles all the time!

Tomorrow= another day of loving the babies!

Learning to Love...

I came to the realization today that it would be impossible to love fully without Christ. I would have a selfish love rather than continually looking out for those around me. I do fall into this trap very often which I am slowly realizing how selfish I can truly be. I feel as though every relationship is a gift from God learning a little bit more about love along the way.

This summer loving these babies is going to be tiring and amazing all at once; we will see how it goes. We have eleven hour shifts. Today was our first day. The babies smile can light up the world, I promise. Their laughs are even more cute and adorable. These babies have come from such diverse situations. It is surreal to think about the situations they have come from while serving at the Door of Hope; however, it is also easy to focus too much on the past rather than loving them in the future. It is such an amazing organization. The babies crawl right up to you wanting to be loved. They are such happy babies- it is incredibe. Today, I was trying to Americanize one of the babies haha- teaching him how to high five and "pound it." It would be so hard to love these babies without keeping our focuses right continually throughout this summer.

It has been tough being here because everything is so foreign. We miss good coffee, good food, and communication with the world outside of our little home or the Door of Hope. We are so used to text messaging and television and friends and continual activity. We have a lot of down time here as we cannot go outside after 6- it is unsafe after dark. I miss the comfort of living in the United States. However, I know me and Annie are here for a reason.

It is amazing to think some of my friends are serving all around the world as well: Nicaragua, Kenya, Korea, Guatemala, Caswell, Churches, and all of the other BDT summer missionaries. It is neat to hear people from all over the world proclaim their faith in the same God.

I am excited about tomorrow to love these babies even more. Then we have two days of rest :)